Became a Medieval Fantasy Wizard

TL/Editor: raei

Status: 5/week mon-fri

Illustrations: none

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'Surely... it can't be true.'

While medieval sex lives were relatively free, that freedom only extended within the bounds of common sense.

If someone were to shout, 'I prefer furry beasts to humans!'

Whether modern or medieval, people would likely react with a disgusted expression, saying 'Ugh... furry freak!'

Of course, human preferences vary wildly, so some might shout 'totally possible!'

And a fondness for besti*ality[1] has never been a mainstream preference...

'My nephew... likes beasts!'

If Zenik had heard this, he would've been dumbfounded.

But Zenik, who should be defending himself, was currently unconscious and unable to say anything.

Only Ian.

Only the cunning wizard's tongue would determine that young man's future...!

Father Berum dismissed the others and asked Ian directly.

"Tell me. What exactly did my nephew do?"

"I'll explain slowly."

Ian explained in detail from start to finish, without missing a single moment.

He told how Zenik had first picked a fight with Belenka, and Ian had stepped in, unable to stand by.

Then, by chance, Zenik's secret preferences were revealed - or so the story went.

As soon as Ian finished speaking, Berum shouted to defend his nephew's honor.

"Didn't you cast some strange spell? Like magic that makes someone like beasts...!"

"I swear on my master's name, absolutely not."

It was 100% fact.

The magic Ian used was on the mare, not Zenik!

"While studying magic, I learned to understand the hearts of beasts."

"...?"

"The mare told me first. She said her master was looking at her with lustful eyes."

Father Berum's jaw dropped in disbelief.

What...? Understanding beasts' hearts?

Shit, how is that even possible for a human!

But while he was incredulous, he accepted it.

His opponent was a wizard, after all.

It wasn't unusual for wizards to have strange abilities.

Magic that reads animals' minds?

Well... it could exist!

"How can I believe that?"

"Usually I only show this skill when summoned as a wizard, but..."

Ian went outside and had a servant bring some horses.

"Go fetch a few horses."

"Y-Yes sir!"

When the servants brought the horses, Ian spoke in the Maronius language.

"[Friend. What's the most unpleasant thing that's happened to you lately?]"

The horse whinnied and expressed its feelings.

[I ate damp hay and got an upset stomach... The diarrhea was awful...]

Ian patted the horse and said to the servant,

"It must be hard managing the horses' feed these days?"

"... Pardon?"

"There's been a lot of rain lately, hasn't there? This friend says he got an upset stomach from eating wet hay."

"!"

The servant stammered in surprise.

"H-How did you know that...!"

Ian calmly replied.

"This friend told me?"

The servant couldn't close his gaping mouth at Ian's mys-terious ability.

Can he really... really read horses' thoughts?!

Ian went ahead and listened to the other horses' thoughts too.

"This one seems to be enjoying life. Says he has no complaints?"

"This one says he's in love with Zenik's horse... What? You can't mate because of breed management? Tsk tsk. Sorry, friend. Looks like you'll die a virgin because of your balls. ȑΑŊȪ𐌱Ёŝ

My stallion friend."

The servant was even more shocked by Ian's unfaltering testimony.

He might've been able to guess about the horse with an upset stomach, but there was no way he could've known about the horses' love lives.

Yet... Ian got it right in one go!

That scrawny stallion was scheduled to be gelded soon. He couldn't do his job properly because he was always lusting after the mares.

He was especially interested in Sir Zenik's horse...

To figure that out in one try!

"And this friend..."

"W-Wait a moment! Master Wizard!"

Ian finished chatting with the last horse and stared at the servant.

"You, did you starve this one?"

"What?!"

Father Berum, who had been watching Ian's skill, flew into a rage.

"Allin! Is what the wizard says true?"

"W-Well, that's..."

"You've finally lost your mind! How dare you starve the horse I cherish most!"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, Father Berum!"

"Hang that bastard from a tree and whip him at once!"

The servant was instantly strung up upside down on a tree.

The sound of whipping echoed embarrassingly.

"Well, that should do it."

Having demonstrated a simple spell, Ian met with Berum again in private.

Berum's eyes had completely changed.

This fellow... he really can perform marvelous magic that allows him to talk to animals!

He definitely wasn't just believing me and exposing a servant who abused his beloved horse!

Sometimes, those crazy, arrogant commoners would pop up.

He was probably planning to weaken Berum's horse as revenge for being scolded a few days ago.

Disgusting commoner bastards.

"Do you believe me now?"

"Ah."

Berum came to his senses.

If Ian's ability was real... it meant his nephew's unusual sexual preferences were true.

Berum felt the world going dark.

My nephew was really a horse-lover!

A horse-lover! Such a shameful preference!

"... Thank you for being discreet, Wizard."

"Ian is fine."

Father Berum owed Ian a great debt.

If Ian had blurted out Zenik's preferences where others could hear, not only would their honor be ruined, but they could face severe punishment from the Heaven's Faith priests.

Of course, besti*ality is one of the taboos strictly forbidden by Heaven's Faith doctrine.

And Berum is a priest.

If rumors spread that a priest's nephew had committed such a lewd sin, Berum would be in a very awkward position.

"I sincerely apologize for my nephew's rudeness."

"Hmm..."

"Please, come with us, Wizard Ian. I'd like to give him a chance to apologize."

It was as good as promising Ian the best treatment.

Of course... the reason was obviously to keep him quiet.

Ian, who was planning to fleece a nearby noble for supplies anyway, gladly accepted Father Berum's offer.

"Alright. I'll accompany you until our paths diverge."

"Oh! Thank you so much!"

------

Zenik, having regained consciousness, dragged his aching body to find Berum.

'Those damn bastards...!'

He hated the rude blonde wench, but he despised the wizard with the nasty eyes even more.

How could he use magic on a person like that!

The power of magic must not be abused, and those who break this rule are called black wizards and excommunicated from the order.

Zenik was certain.

That black-haired wizard...

He must definitely be a black wizard...!

Even if he's not a black wizard, it doesn't matter. If I report him to Father Berum, it'll be easy to get him excommunicated through the order!

'... Huh?'

As Zenik approached Father Berum's tent, he tilted his head at the laughter flowing out.

Was there ever a reason for Berum to laugh like that?

Only then did Zenik realize Berum was meeting with someone.

"No way...!"

And he was shocked.

The other person was Ian, the wizard who had cast evil magic on Zenik!

"Uncle Berum!"

Zenik raised his voice as he approached Berum.

Berum and Ian, who had been laughing and chatting, both turned to look at Zenik.

'What's going on?'

Zenik felt a chill run down his spine.

But having come this far, he couldn't just keep quiet and turn back.

"What are you doing now! That wizard cast magic on me, he's a black wiz-"

As soon as the word 'black wizard' popped out,

Berum shouted, his ears turning bright red.

"Shut up! Who do you think you're raising your voice to!"

"U-Uncle?"

"Call me Father! You idiot!"

"???"

Berum quickly turned his head.

Praying that Ian was sitting there nonchalantly...

But Ian, who had tangled with black wizards many times, couldn't have missed the word 'black wizard'.

Ian immediately began his wizard act.

"Father Berum. I think I just heard that fellow call me a 'black wizard'?"

"Ah, no, that's..."

"I feel like my ears have been sullied. Father, this makes me want to complain about this unpleasantness to Father Isilla..."

"!"

Through his short conversation with Ian, Berum had gathered a lot of information.

The most important being that Ian was friends with Father Isilla from the Blue Key Monastery.

Who was Father Isilla?

He was a living legend who had returned after making a mad missionary video against the northern barbarians in his youth, and a friend of Archbishop Teranos!

Moreover, this young wizard Ian was friends with 'Golden Finger' Takarion and had worked with Cleric Leshach, the Knight of God!

Just hearing about it made Berum's knees weak - such powerful connections in the order!

"You... filthy horse-loving bastard, apologize for your rudeness this instant!"

"H-Horse-loving? What are you talking about!"

Zenik immediately protested his innocence.

What kind of hell had unfolded while he was briefly unconscious?

But Berum didn't listen to a word Zenik said.

"Wizard Ian here told me everything! About how you lust after your mare in disgusting ways!"

"??? Me?"

Zenik was dumbfounded.

It's not like he was a kid who just discovered his sexual identity...

Was I... actually a horse-lover?

No, fuck!

That can't be right!

"Father! Are you really trusting that wizard's cunning tongue over me right now!"

For a moment, Zenik and Ian's eyes met.

With superhuman reflexes, Ian flicked out his tongue like a snake.

It was a very (former) Korean-like display of dedication to trolling others.

Moreover, he looked just like a real evil black wizard!

Zenik turned to Berum in shock.

Now he understood...!

Uncle has fallen under that evil black wizard's spell!

"You bastard! How dare you cast magic on my beloved uncle! I'll cut out that tongue of yours so you can never use your sorcery again!"

"Wha-What are you saying, you madman!"

Panicked, Berum threw the wine cup he was drinking from at Zenik!

"Ack!"

Hit by the wine cup, Zenik stopped in his tracks, stunned.

"Is there anyone out there! Take this fool away at once!"

"U-Uncle! Uncle!"

Zenik shouted like a madman that he had to save his uncle~ but.

Berum just wanted to get Zenik out of his sight.

"... I'm at a loss for words. I apologize on behalf of my nephew."

Though he wasn't angry at all, Ian put on an act of being upset.

Hmph, Ian's mad!

"I understand your situation, Father, but I'm not sure how many more times I can tolerate this."

"... I'm truly sorry."

Ian, who had been practicing his wizard act, had greatly improved his acting skills.

If he'd known he'd become a wizard in a fantasy world, he would've studied theater and film in his past life. Ian felt a bit regretful.

---

[1. raei: besti*ality, is flagged on kofi it seems, hence the *.]

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